Eminem – Relapse (Album Review)
Eminem – Relapse
(Release Date: May 15, 2009)
I’m not going to beat around the bush this album is awful. And quite frankly if this is just a ever so small taste of this great mythical unicorn of a album called the Detox… thanks but no thanks Dr Dre, you should get back to writing that great American Novel you got kicking around, or flying kites i don’t know just anything but this don’t ruin my expectations about what you are capable of.
Listening through this album I was forced to come to two horrible realizations. 1) Eminem is overrated he is no genius who speaks truth to heart about society and social issues 2) Eminem owns a time machine. How else can you explain the excruciating pop culture references that weren’t relevant years ago? I used to look at Em as this rap monster who was sticking it to the man, but in reality Em is a rap monster who has zero direction and has been sticking it to us the fans. The first time i heard it on the Slim shady album I thought hey this is clever the second and third time I heard it I thought hey at least he can rap and now the 6th (and I hope final time) I think wtf you suck.
Words can’t describe my shock and horror when i discovered Em’s formula, it was like learning Rick Ross was a CO and the ending of Usual Suspects all wrapped up in one. Before you Eminem fans get mad take a deep breath and pay attention.
To make a Eminem album you need:
1) Drug references
2) School bully
3) Gay jokes
4) Make fun of Mother
5) Reference to how crappy your life was/is
6) And my personal favorite make fun of famous women
Rinse lather and repeat. If anything I guess I could commend him for staying true to the source material. At any point while you read this review jumble his songs on iTunes and i defy anybody to tell me which albums and what date these songs came out. The words cookie cutter doesn’t even do justice to this nonsense. Even the biggest Em fan has to feel it in their gut Amy Whinehouse references 2 years after anybody gives a damn about Amy Whinehouse??? Really Em? Yeah its time. There was no high point to this album just misery and sadness for anybody who wastes their time listing to it. The beats are almost as dated as his pop culture references but that wouldn’t be enough to show that this lazy boy should be its last hurrah no I’ll leave that to Mariah Carey and Nick Canon yes the great battle master emcee super rapper who is supposed to be in everybody’s top 5 dead or alive has set his sights on airing out Mariah Carey and Nick Canon. Go through your Facebook friends list and tag anybody who cares what Nick Canon and Mariah Carey thinks i’ll wait.
Singles
We Made you
3 AM
Beautiful
$ out of $$$$$
On a side note Eminem you got it backwards WE made you.
